Balancing Act

by

Dear Roman,

My apologies for not writing about you for what feels like ages. It’s not that you aren’t doing and saying all kinds of new things because you are. In fact it’s been a huge period of growth and change for you. It’s just that it’s also been an extremely busy and overwhelming time for your parents. There was your sister’s birthday and your Dad was out of town on business and I’ve had some major work deadlines put on me. All of the “stuff” made for an unbalanced home life and I’ve taken a step back to reflect.

I realized I wasn’t being a very present mom to you and your sister. Sure I was there- at home- meeting your needs, but my mind was elsewhere. Thinking about looming work obligations. Stressing out about being creative enough to design a new card line. As much as I tried to stay present and in the moment as Han Solo or Batgirl or whatever character  you designated I be, my mind would wander. I’d start stressing out about work and you picked up on it. Not good. Plus it wasn’t fair that you had to share my attention with Charlotte and Natalie Eden.

I decided instead of trying to do it all at once I’d have to separate my two worlds. Design work would wait until you went to bed and from 6am until 6pm I’d be your Mom. That meant no more pretending to notice your tupperware sculptures while trying to box up an order. No more sneaking off from playtime to make a business call or check an email or create an invoice. No more telling you I’ll play with you as soon as I’m done with…

I’ll admit this new schedule is exhausting. It means your dad and I are working until 11pm week nights and I have to work some weekends. Plus I have to stay super organized and I hate being organized, but it feels good to give each role my full attention. And honestly Roman, the things I care most about in life are you and Charlotte. Being a good mom and making sure you both know I care. So if I have to give up my nights and occasional weekend for happy, well adjusted kids it’s totally worth it.

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