3 Years 10 Months

by

Dear Roman,

We’re on a roller coaster right now. Up days, down days. Up weeks, down weeks. Geez it even seems like you have up minutes and down minutes. I’ve learned over the last few years of being your mom that summer brings huge transitions for you as you move closer to turning a year older. This summer is proving to be the same.

You’re using manners and saying “please” and “thank you” when you ask for stuff. You’re dressing yourself and picking up your toy messes. You’re telling elaborate stories to yourself and playing well on your own. You’re asking lots of questions again. Like about a homeless person. The subject comes up when we pass by people on the corner holding up signs. There’s a particular homeless person we pass daily on our walks. Each time we walk by you say to me, “Mom we need to go to the bank so we can bring him money next time. That will make it better right Mom?” On another walk you spotted an obese man and said very quietly to me, “why is his stomach so big?” So I explained how he got that large and you said, “maybe we should get him to a doctor to help him.”  Your mind is constantly working and thinking. You’re forever on a mission to solve all conflict/world issues anything negative. That’s why you’re so into super heroes.  You’re also still totally into music. You keep asking to take guitar or trumpet lessons. One morning while music was playing in the background you were playing with your etch a sketch you ran over to me and said, “look mom I drew the beat of the music.” I saw sharp lines that reminded me of a heart rate on a monitor.  You’re taking summer camp and loving it. I’ve really never seen you happier than this week that I dropped you off daily and picked you up 4 hours later. I was so worried that the length would be too much for you. I couldn’t have been more wrong. You can’t get there fast enough and you’re in no hurry to leave when I pick you up. Your teachers tell me stories about how you lead a group to play plumbers and pretended to fix all the bathroom sinks. And you pretended to be an architect with blueprints and built a house with toy tools and blocks. You so clearly thrive with peer interaction and creative play.

But then there’s the other side of you. something sets you off like say you ask for a bagel for breakfast and I tell you we don’t have any bagels… You get so upset and shout, “I want a bagel and if you say we don’t have bagels then I’ll be so mad and I won’t eat breakfast or do anything.” It’s not like you at all. usually you’re so flexible and positive. But lately you’re extremely sensitive to change of plans or things not going exactly your way. You get easily overwhelmed and spiral quickly into challenging behavior. You also have moments of big regression requesting I help you get dressed, go to the bathroom, carry you to and from places. You’ve even been asking to play, “Baby Roman” where you want to pretend to be born and ask me to hold you in my arms like a newborn. Typically when I see you acting like this it’s always a precursor to a leap in development. I’m not too worried about the behavior right now because I know it means something big is on the horizon. What makes me a little sad is anticipating what a big kid you’re about to become when you turn 4.

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